There is something so idyllic about New Years Eve. The festivities, the lights, the bubbles in your glass and aspirations on your mind.
My hero is working the street tonight. I’ve spent the evening fighting a cold while getting my little ones to bed, only to curl up with the dog and watch TV.
But my heart is heavy with the news of yet another officer down this morning. It seems 2017 couldn’t be done yet.
5 Deputies shot, one has died, and another agency is left reeling between pain and duty. Following the initial news, sentiments pour out across social media and as details emerge its an all too familiar story. A hero with a heart to serve has left behind a devastated family. The deep stab of tragedy pierces the heart of those both blood and blue once again.
My heart is left with the same question I have asked over and over and over. For what? Two beautiful little girls will never see their dad again and for what? … One more dirt bag drug dealer will go back to prison and that newborn baby will never be held by her momma again, for what? … He had just started on the job and lost his life on the side of the highway and for what?
What?
Their calling is higher than my mind could ever begin to unpack. It carries a purpose, an Eternal weight that is altogether made of the highest honor and the heaviest of burdens. Every day they have the opportunity to make lasting impacts on people during some of their most vulnerable moments. They bring peace to chaos, stability to hectic situations, and protection to those who need it most.
That is their “why” and their service will forever echo in Eternity.
Witnessing their sacrifice makes me question my own “why.” It beckons me to examine my own calling as the wife to a hero.
How do I fulfill all that I believe I am called to be to my husband and children? On the days when the late hours and early mornings catch up to me and its all I can do to make sure everyone is bathed and fed. How do I respond in happiness to a husband that I haven’t seen in a week. How do I keep peace in my heart when every alarm bell goes off every time I see another tragedy. And do I truly, truly believe that my job too is an Eternal one?
I do. Absolutely.
I have the incredible responsibility to bring peace to his chaotic day, joy to an evening full of sorrow and a safe place to rest when the world he has been in has felt like a battle zone.
Don’t misunderstand me friends, this doesn’t come naturally. Bitterness, frustration, and yes even anger at feeling like I’m doing life alone some days would take over if I let it.
But I won’t.
And neither should you.
Our days are numbered and our every day actions have an everlasting impact, just like theirs. Your position matters and your opportunity to love them as only a police spouse can is invaluable.
Here’s to a safe, healthy and successful in all the right ways New Year. In the words of my little guy Max, may 2018 bring you nothing but Honor and Peace.
“Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God.” Matthew 5:9
Grace, Lace, and Blues 